Breastfeeding and Heartbroken

At about 2 months I stopped breastfeeding and became an exclusive pumper due to my little one having a reflux problem (he’s 6 months now). So every time we breastfed he would instantly throw everything he just drank up. And not just a little spit up. It would be EVERYTHING. That’s when I started pumping into bottles and adding rice cereal to thicken the milk up a bit and he was able to keep everything down. I’ve noticed lately he’s hardly throwing up so I thought, “let’s give this whole breastfeeding thing a shot.” Today we tried to breastfeed. And he’s not interested one bit. It seems like he forgot how to latch. And the one time I got my nipple into his mouth he just chewed on it because he’s teething. I’m just really heartbroken. Like I should’ve never given up in the first place. Like I don’t deserve to breastfeed like everyone else. Where did I go wrong ? Why is this happening to us ? I mean I’m still blessed because I still make a ton of milk. But I feel like a machine constantly pumping. I want to feel that bond that I see other mothers having with their baby. I guess my breastfeeding journey is over and that’s hard to come to terms with.

10 thoughts on “Breastfeeding and Heartbroken”

  1. Gurll, don’t be too hard in yourself! You are giving the best you can! Pumping is a lot of hard work too! And just by supplying your little one with your breastmilk, be it in a bottle, you are giving him all the love and nutrients that he needs! Cheer up momma! 🤗♥️

  2. I highly recommend them i had a friend that didnt start bursing til her son was 3months old they helped her by 5 montgs he was exclusively breast fed and you’re already ahead of the game because you have a milk supply from pumping

  3. Don’t feel bad mommie. You are doing the best you can for your baby.
    Probably the baby has gotten used to bottle and has nipple confusion. Consider visiting a lactation consultant. They might help.

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