The memorial service is this weekend

The memorial service is this weekend. And we’re making the 13 hour drive to California again for the second time in two weeks with a 5 month old. Not to mention baby and I have been sick both times around. So this will be interesting. I’m going to stay as strong and positive as I can because with Moses loosing his father, he needs all the support he can get.

I don’t want to go into detail about what Moses is going through right now. But what I can speak on is I lost my step dad two years ago and the feelings I felt during that time were indescribable. I would always tell Moses that I hope he doesn’t have to feel what I feel. Now here we are two years later and Moses is feeling exactly how I felt, full force. I know Moses is feeling some guilt because we are moving back home at the end of this month and he mentioned that he wishes we made it home for him to say goodbye to his dad one last time. That hurt my heart so badly.

Death affects each person differently. And it’s kind of refreshing to watch the way his family has handled the passing of his dad. When my step dad passed away everyone was soooo sad. Like depressed, dark clouds followed us everywhere we went. But his family is remaining positive and remembering all the good memories. And I really wish I had the tools to have handled the death of my step dad like that. It’s taught me that death doesn’t have to be so sad. You can remember the good times and accept that who just passed away is in a better place, in this case, Moses father.

Moses is such a strong person. On the outside you wouldn’t know he’s dealing with all of these emotions. But when he walks through the door of our home, I can see his pain. I feel his pain. Is there someway I can take his pain from him so he doesn’t have to burden all of this on his soul? To watch your partner go through something like this is truly gut wrenching. All you want to do is console your partner and make them feel better. But even that is easier said than done.

Moses I know you will never see this post because you don’t read my blogs, but every feeling you bare I’m ready to bare them with you, every tear you shed I will shed them with you, every heartache you feel I feel with you. I love you so much and am emotionally and mentally ready to help you in anyway I can, just like you helped me two years ago. Now it’s my turn to be strong for you. This is what partners do. This is what friends do.

We have to stay strong as a unit. And I feel the only way we can do that is to go through this rollercoaster together. Your not alone. Zethus and I will try our best to bring some sunshine to your day. It’s going to be hard to watch you go through this memorial service this weekend. But I’m prepared for it. I love you Moses. Your the love of my life. And I hope you feel every ounce of my love this weekend ♥️

Meanwhile here’s a picture of his Mom and Dad together. Look and their smiles 🥰