As I lay in bed, I’m thinking about where the time has gone. You spend 9 long months awaiting your baby’s arrival and then BAM 💥 he’s here. The first half of the pregnancy seemed to take forever to get to 20 weeks. The second half seemed to blow right by. I was looking in my phone and noticed I hardly even took any pregnancy pictures. I made plenty of pregnancy update videos. But pictures themselves are non existent. Part of that was due to how I was coping with all the weight gain and how disgusted I was with myself. However when baby Zethus came into the world I made sure that I take tons of pictures. You know, my mom never really kept pictures of us around the house. And I planned to do the exact opposite. There are so many photos of him around the house. I do that to remind myself of the tiny human being my amazing body created and how beautiful birth truly is.
Today though, is a different kind of reminder. A reminder to slow down. Not only to soak it all in but to live in the moment. He’s 3 months now and although I’m on top of my housework, sometimes I think I forget to stop and giggle with him, to play with him, to cuddle him. When I lay here at night and watch him sleep I think about the bond we have. Having a baby is true love. A different love. A PURE LOVE. I never knew what this meant until now. Everything I do is for him. Every move I make is calculated to be in the best interest for him. I vow to myself to slow down. To enjoy all the giggles, all the baby farts, all the milestones. Yes I keep up on the housework. But does your laundry HAVE to be put in right now ? Just wait until he’s asleep, until time is frozen for him, then go put it your laundry. Missing precious moments isn’t worth it to me.
As I lay in bed, I’m thankful. Thankful for my body, thankful for my partner, Moses, and thankful for my baby. He’s helped me become a woman. He’s helped me find myself. He’s helped me not only love Moses better, but myself as well. I’m proud of us for changing our lives around. Moses and I used to be wild teenagers (we’ve known each other since high school). Now he’s 28, I’m 27; and we couldn’t be more mature than we are now. I’m proud of where our lives are at. I’m proud to be Moses partner. And more importantly, I’m proud to be Zethus’ mother.